Aliens vs Predator - Requiem, FThis was the grand number 60 of the year, rung in at 1AM on Friday the 28th. I could not have ended on a more disappointing note, but it pretty much sums up the experience for the year. There were a few ups, but in general the year in movies was wandering through the dark valley of WGA written nonsense. Go ahead and strike - I'll take my chances with 1,000,000 monkeys on word processors.
Warning: Spoilers ahead. Right, like you'll ever even rent this.
Having seen the first movie in this set, I knew roughly what to expect, but had hopes for so much more. Previously on AVP, a teenage Predator gets in over his head at the Alien arcade and mommy and daddy have to come rescue him. And there's people somewhere. I wish that were a joke, but it's the plot, I swear. Basically the only way you could lose a bet is if you put all your eggs in the baskets of the Aliens (ha, sucker).
The latest installment in this should be amazing series, was AVPR - which stands for Not Another AVP Failure (more or less). There are no major stars, not even a failed stand up comedian or a former Disney Channel star. I didn't read the title right, and failed to notice it said "Predator"... not plural. The trailers led me to believe there were hordes of Aliens and an army of Predators to stop them at all cost, even when mowing down Marines (which there were about 5 of in the movie). They chickened out and didn't show a single gruesome moment. I don't know what else to say other than it was a complete disappointment and failure.
It gets the fabulous F mostly because it was so boring, I could hardly stay awake. You've got to be really bad to pull that off. I even stayed awake through Nancy Drew at 1AM, so that's saying something.
Goodbye 2007, I will remember you as an incredible waste of time peppered with a few meaningful experiences.
By the way, movie reviews for 2008 will be living on my blog at visceralcognition.com, all you have to do is hit the blog and search for "movie reviews", or just hit the movie review tag in the left column. I may attempt to import the archives here into there, but I just don't see that happening. Thanks for reading!
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