Mega Movie Roundup

Okay, I've been sitting on these for a while. Should be in somewhat chronological order, but don't hold me to anything.

Hellboy II , C+ The somewhat-awaited sequel to 2004's Hellboyfinally dropped in '08. It wasn't quite as fun as the first one, but still entertained. The Tooth Fairies were particularly disturbing. I always like Guillermo del Toro's visual style, but not always his directing. Fun flick, watch it when the DVD arrives.

The Dark Knight, B- I know I'll get grief for this, but it wasn't all it was hyped to be. Heath Ledger was good as the Joker, but I don't think it would warrant an Oscar nomination. This time around Gotham City is a nice Chicago-esque city, far from the gritty Gotham of Batman Begins. It made a vigilante in a bat suitseem far more stupid/insane given the setting. Speaking of stupid/insane - the Joker's ridiculously elaborate plots really didn't do much for the storyline either. I'm not saying I hated the film, I just want to make sure I point out that this is not the best movie of all time, or even the best Batman of the series.

Transsiberian, C- I'm always up for a good limited release film, especially when it involves Russia. Mmm, do I love the strangeness that is Russia. Transsiberian was a beautifully shot film, great locations, but really fell short in every other way. It wasn't the worst thing ever, but it felt about 3 times longer than it actually was.

X-Files: I Want to Believe, D X-Files was a great show. Even the last horrible season had some cool elements. I'm not sure what happened between that last show and this movie. Obviously the ability to write a good, scary story was lost. I know we've been waiting and waiting (SPOILERS!) for them to get together, but c'mon. Weak. Painful. Do another, and get this franchise back on track.

Pineapple Express, A- I was a little nervous going into this movie since I thought it had one of the best trailers I've seen in years. It did not disappoint. Very very funny, very very violent. One of the best brawl scenes in a movie since The Quiet Man. Probably not for everybody, but one of the best stoner/action movies I've seen.

Death Race, B I could probably copy&paste this review down to Transporter 3 - lots of shirtless Jason Statham, lots of ridiculous action, but a load of fun. I can't get enough of these types of senseless action movies.

Babylon A.D., D+ I like Vin Diesel. I'll pretty much see anything he's in. I even liked the trailer for this movie. That's about it. Painfully boring, very little action, and one of the dumbest endings of a movie I have ever seen ("oh no, they destroyed our two Range Rovers! you win, VD!")

Bangkok Dangerous, D Ah Nick Cage - your emotionless acting and befuddled looks lure me in every time. You've even grown out those luxurious curls! I can't even remember what this movie was about. I do remember being surprised that the "Drink when he says 'uh'" game did not go that well. Why do I fall for his charms every time?

Burn After Reading, A Just like I did not understand the hype for Dark Knight, I did not understand the dislike for Burn After Reading. As far as madcap and unexpectedly violent movies go, I can't think of a better film. I'm not sure what people expect from the Coens. They make good movies, but they range from drama to comedy and every place in between. Can't please everyone, but this movie pleased me.

Miracle at St. Anna, C The trailers were very shrouded in mystery and really spurred me on to get to the theaters for the opening weekend. Bad acting, a non-punchline, and a really silly ending just ruined what could have been a great film. Oh well.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Play List, B+ Finally an indie film that doesn't pretend it's not luring in its fanbase with a catchy indie soundtrack. Call it what it is. A little less cute and a little more adult made this a much more enjoyable film than I thought it would be.

XXY, C+ I missed this one at the AFF this year, but got it in theaters a few months later. Soooo sloooow. One redeeming scene, which you'll instantly recognize if you bother renting. Don't bother.

City of Ember, D+ I love alternate world movies. Experiencing a new world is one of the best things about going to the theater and sitting in the dark for 2 hours. However, this is Walden, and no matter how good the story, it's going to be bad. I never learn.

Max Payne, D He must find the supernatural killer! Not only was the trailer misleading and deviated from the game, it didn't even accurately reflect what was going on in the movie. Max Payne was supposed to be about straight up psycho violence, not brooding and reflecting. What a waste of a good game movie. Hopefully they can Hulk this one and make a good sequel.

Quantum of Solace, C+ The last Bond had some of the best action sequences imaginable. Well done! Bravo! The new bond shot some random footage, spliced it all together, and had the gall to send it out the doors as a movie. I get shaky/quick-cut action, but this was way too much. I had no idea what was going. The entire plot was pretty weak as well.... OOooo! Big bad guy is getting water contracts in third world countries! That's so crazy! I'm not even going to comment on how the trailer lied about the cool 60s looking style it should have been shot in.

Twilight, C- Vampires are already a bit brooding and moody, but when you drop that into a perpetual 17 year old, it crosses into territory I'd rather not see. Those books had better be amazing, because I don't see the appeal of this movie. Aparently Kristin Stewart is as unbearable in real life as she is in the movie. Way to reach for the starts with that indie stripper role, Kristin!
Transporter 3, B The last Transporter wasn't that great, and very little can match the first one, but this was pretty good. Statham shirtless half the time, etc. Kicking, punching, etc. Completely implausible car sequences. Good times.

That brings me up to date on the year's movies! I still want to see Punisher (despite the numerous bad reviews), Milk, Boy in the Striped Pajamas, and The Day the Earth Stood Still (blank stare for me, Keanu!). That should bring me up to about 40 movies for the year.. about half of what I had hoped for. I just can't handle the bad movies like I used to. Allie should help with getting to that elusive goal next year!