Movie Reviews for the Masses!

Or is that masses of movie reviews...?

At any rate, it's been a while since I have reviewed anything. I know I'm supposed to be writing full reviews, but these shorties should be okay for now, right? I'm a little ashamed, because if this guy can do movie reviews:












then I really have no excuses, now do I?

On to reviews - first the ones that have played in theaters, then I will follow up with Atlanta Film Festival movies.

Coraline, A- What a great movie. The opening was brilliant/creepy as anything. Wonderful animation and very worth the watch. Might be a little scary for kids, but good for all ages.

Friday the 13th, F Walked out. It was just stupid. It has nothing to do with Friday the 13th, it was just a way to slap the brand on a movie, kills some kids in the woods, and make (if I recall correctly) rediculous profits.

Madea Goes to Jail, D- Another terrible movie. Walked out, got dirty looks for doing so. I guess I could maybe understand the appeal, but it's like trying to enjoy a high school play - bad acting, bad filming, okay plot..pity perhaps?

Watchmen, B- I've never read the comic, so I don't know how it compared. Some parts were cool, othes were a bit comicy. It was entertaining overall, but I don't know if I'd watch it again.

Knowing, D++ That extra plus is for Nick Cage. A pointless movie with typical NC acting. I guess if you're on the mindless quest that Allie and I are on (to see all of his movies) you should see it. Otherwise, probably not. Wait for the Rifftrax on it.

The Haunting in Connecticut, D I wanted this to be so much better than it was. Typical horror movie, but a worthless ending. I guess if it's based on true events...

Fast and Furious (4), B+ I don't care what anybody says, this was easily the best movie of the series. Better cars, better action. No comparison, plus it was just fun to watch even if you hadn't seen the rest.

Dragonball Evolution, D+ This is exactly what happens when you try to translate anime directly to live action with little tweaking in between. Wow, it was rough.

Crank: High Voltage, B In the tradition of the last Crank movie, it was nonstop rediculous action. I truly admire these film makers - they work quickly, low budget, and have a great story telling method. Not for everybody - you'll probably feel like you need a shower and a good cry after its done.

Earth, C This was another one I really wanted to be better. Typical global warming, environmental, etc, but it had some really beautiful shots. Planet Earth will still be my first blueray purchase.

Fighting, F Terrence Howard probably has the most annoying speaking voice I've ever heard. Walked out about halfway through.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine, C- I've just realized that this year is the most disappointing for movies I've ever seen. So disappointing. Guess how I felt about Wolverine?

Star Trek, B+ While a good watch and I'm sure great for fans, just didn't do as much for me. Plus it was a Star Wars story ripoff - you all know it, don't pretend Star Trek is original!

Terminator Salvation, A- I watched all of the previous movies up to this one. It was really a good movie in the sequence, especially after Rise of the Blah blah blah... The only thing I didn' t like was super-plastic Arnold. It was somewhere between disgusting and insulting to watch.

UP, B Get mad. I didn't like it as much as previous Pixar. Still a very good movie, but felt kind of kidsy - cheap jokes, nothing too sophisticated. Still better than Cars.

The Land of the Lost, B It was like one long, weird skit. More adult than I expected, but had some really funny moments.

The Hangover, C- I'm ashamed I watched this. I almost walked out, probably should have. I'm done with these kinds of comedies - nothing is funny, they're just trying to be shocking or gross.
Now, Atlanta Film Festival 2009. It was a good festival, lots of good movies playing, including two shorts I had worked on. Hopefully I'll be back some day, probably with a new film.

Rudo y Cursi, A+ Great movie - hilarious, dark, dramatic, but didn't drag for a moment. I don't care if you don't like subtitles, you'd better be watching this movie when it comes out. It's in limited release at the moment, should be on DVD shortly.

500 Days of Summer, C It was a hollywood movies that happened to be indie. It was okay, but the ending just ruined the film for me. It did not belong. I have to wonder if it was tacked on later by Fox in an attempt to make it more mainstream. Question for the director, I suppose...

Deadland, F Like many movies, great poster, terrible followthrough. A plot and some set dressing could have helped. Not sure why it was accepted.

The Death of Alice Blue, F This one wasn't as suprising as Deadland, but I just didn't like it. It was really trying too hard.

That Evening Sun, A+ This is a must-see for anybody, and is now one of my favorite movies. A beautiful script, shot so well. It didn't throw anything in your face and was a great example of what souther movies should be. Rent it, buy it - either way you need to see it.

Squeezebox, C+ Documentaries - not my favorite in any case. I had never heard of Squeezebox, so it was very informative, just not that entertaining.

We Fun, C+ Another one. Documentary. I don't know, I didn't really like many of the bands and Mastadon was on for about 2 minutes. The short before it about Peter Stubbs - brilliant.
That's all for the reviews. Stay tuned for more posts and an update to the site!

2008 Movies Review

Final Movie Count: 45, down 15 from last year.
















As you can see, a good number of C and D range movies, I think more than last year. A suprising 8 A-grade movies this year! Not bad.
Colin's Top 5 of '08

1. Slumdog Millionaire


2. Wall-E


3. Burn After Reading


4. Son of Rambow


5. Milk

Didn't quite make the list: Pineapple Express, Speed Racer, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and Skills Like This. Skills Like This is technically a 2009 release now, so I'm not sure if I should count it in the top 5 for '09 instead. It would be 2 or 3 for '08 otherwise.
Colin's Bottom 5 of '08

1. The Spirit


2. The Love Guru


3. Max Payne


4. One Missed Call


5. X-Files: I Want to Believe

Didn't quite make the list: Transsiberian and 10,000 BC. The Love Guru would be number 1 if I had watched the entire movie, but the 20 minutes I saw were enough to make it the number 2 movie.

Goal for 2009 is 80 movies in theaters, as well as at least 20 actual full reviews like I did for "Part of the Problem." Those were fun, but difficult at times. Only having to review 1/4 of the movies gives me a chance to be a little pickier and let inspiration hit me.

Out With the Old, In With the New

Well here we are in the new year. A month into the new year. I'm on a strong pace to make 12 blog posts this year.

I'm here to talk about movies - finishing up the last few of 2008, and telling you about the new muck I've seen so far in 2009. Next post will be a roundup of my top and bottom 5 of 2008.

The Day the Earth Stood Still, D I am constantly defending Keaknew Reeves as a decent actor, but it's stuff like this that just undermines me. Such a nothing movie - nothing happens, it has no point, it drags and is so incredibly painful. There were some cool destruction montages at the end - the only thing that saved this from an F. Filthy, misleading trailer.

The Spirit, F- Ah the dreaded F-. It looked kinda cool, but that was it. Just blah blah blah, stupid fights, blah blah blah. I fell asleep, woke up, and I was still hearing the same stuff over and over. What a waste of time! Frank Miller, you hack!

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, B+ This movie is long. Really long. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly long it is. Still a good film, but that's the reason for a less than A grade. The movie is exactly what you think it is - he starts old, gets young. The only thing I wish there was more of (more length!) would be some parts of his younger (older?) years. There was a lot of him leaving home and making his way, but it rushed through the rest. Also, Josh Hartnett should have played young Brad Pitt.

Milk, A+ A great biopic about Harvey Milk, the first gay elected official in California, and his rise to power. It was a very real look at gay life and, I felt, one of the most accurate portrayals of gays in cinema. Usually you have a stereotypical flamboyant gay side character there for comic relief or for some version of diversity. Nice to see a good film being made. I really think it's still too gay for Hollywood although it got more Oscar nominations than I thought it would.

Slumdog Millionaire, A+ Ending the year off on a huge high note with Milk and Slumdog. Indie filmmaker Danny Boyle brings it was in intricate tale of a slum kid from India on his way to winning "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire." Everything about the film flowed so perfectly - story, music, editing. No wonder it's the frontrunner for Best Picture and just about every other award.
That's all from 2008. On to 2009!

The Unborn, C It's Beth! From Cloverfield! She's about as annoying in this role as she is screaming and crying about having rebar rammed through her chest. Whiner! This was a typical horror montage with very little explanation or logical world rules. Provided lots of opportunity for hilarious commentary.

My Bloody Valentine 3D, B- The plot wasn't that great, and neither was the cinematography, but the action was so over the top bloody and hilarious, I had to give this one a good grade. One of the most enjoyable stupid movies since Crank. Speaking of - CRANK 2 IS COMING!!! More excuses for Jason Statham to be shirtless...

Awards Season

Here we are in January. Arguably the most entertaining month for movies, but also the time when we get to seethe over the stupid choices made on awards shows.
This year's Sheeple's Choice Awards was about the same as every year - like a bad myspace poll.
Which was your favorite independent film this year???

• The Secret Life of Bees
• The Duchess
• Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day

Um. Are those really my only choices? Click HERE for the full list of "winners."

Last night we go the Golden Globes, which made the right choice by showering Danny Boyle with awards for Slumdog Millionaire including Best Director and Best Picture. Click HERE for the list of winners, although I usually skip the TV portion.

Soon the Oscars. Ahh that ignorant voting group.